Proper First conversation topics and age limits do apply

So first conversations are always the hardest. Do you ask how they are or what their sign is (people still ask that, right?), how is the weather is always a good one (if and only if, not interested is the answer you want) or, maybe you tell a joke (that might actually get my attention. write that one down), my favorite so far has been any variation of "hey gorgeous (gets me every time), wow you have beautiful eyes (heck yes, and they are mine!), is that a Guinness you are holding (profile pic), or a simple hi. So, after the awkward one liners or equally awkward (and terrible) pick-up lines, you make it to second base-I mean the second hardest conversation. "Oh crap, I have already asked her about the weather, what is next?" So when I ask you how your day was, I'm not really asking how your day was. I really don't care. I am trying as hard as you to not ask those awkward and dumb questions. Please though, respond with something positive. A lie would be ok here. Please don't tell me you had a crappy day. Then you involve me in your crappy day. Also, this would not be the best time for you to tell me about how your ex broke up with you. I have baggage of my own that I'm checkin' please don't take all the space on the luggage cart. A word of advice to those of you that are not as confident in your certain areas, don't use this second conversation to ask me if you think you are big enough, and why girls in the past have not liked you.

This brings me to the second (i love it when there is a rhythm and flow, don't you) point in today's discussion. Age.

Now, while the online community accepts people of all walks of life and degree of creepiness, it does not practice ageism. I say, good for them but...

 If you are above the age of 25, I understand why you are online dating. I am 28 myself so I get it. We are too busy with life, too old for the bar scene unless it is trivia night, too tight with our money unless it is happy hour and too tired to troll the scene ("you mean i have to bathe AND get dressed? Forget it") That being said, if you are the tender age of 25 or below, aren't you into that kind of thing? Isn't your M.O, like getting trashed and picking up "hot chicks" every weekend? That is what I did! Minus of course the hot chicks...usually it was a #10 at McDonalds (wait for it...it will make sense), which is the chicken nuggets (got it?) after a too long night at the plaza! I digress...so what are you doing on a dating site? Some, Im sure have a confidence problem like the poor kid from above. This guy...So he messages me one night. Asks all the  usual questions (weather, sign, how is the day...) and then quits talking. The next night he messages again. We talk some more (more of the same, i should say) and then he asks me for my phone number. I give it to him and he immediately texts me a picture of himself (he wanted to send a X rated one, I told him to calm down)(following the pic were some half hearted attempts at sexting. Ahhh the mind of a 22). He then asks me what number the message  came from. I read the number back and asked why (fair question, right?). He replies that the number he text from is actually his mom's cell phone and the other is the house phone (which i was welcome to call anytime...)!!!! I told him that i thought it was disrespectful of him to be using his mom's cell to send inappropriate pictures and messages, to which he replied that "she didn't care what he did as long as she doesn't get calls at work, when she goes to bed I do what i wont (oh yeah he is a speller too).He followed up with asking if I would ever come see him. I'm pretty sure I didn't reply."Our next case is shorter and way less depressing! Im online one night and a name pops up on my i.m asking if i want to chat. I reply yes and see the profile of a 22 year old. He says hey, i say hey. He then asks me if I was in need of a younger man to "give it to me". I said "younger? I'm only 6 yrs older than you, I might be too young for what you are looking for!" He didn't reply back. Oh well, I guess Im ok with not being the topic of 5th period lunch...