Too soon?

Brace yourselves people, This particular blog is going to cover a wide variety of topics and hopefully i will not lose anyone (most importantly myself) (whoa...that was deep)

So, when is soon too soon? (see, already off the deep end) There are a myriad of dumb-ass rules and regulations regarding getting back into the proverbial saddle(falling back in the wagon? Does that work too?) and riding off into the sunset with mr. right (mr. right now? I like the sound of that) Is a rebound like sunblock? People tell me I should use it but I never do Am I really supposed to mourn for half the time i was with someone? (do i have to wear black? I kinda already went through that phase and have sold my shares in emo stock) I have no problem with Ben & Jerry but Im pretty sure their products have a problem with me. Can I sub a pint of beer for the pint of Chunky Monkey? Don't get me started on music choices. Mine are absurd anyway and Im pretty sure Disturbed and Rob Zombie aren't on the "How to get over a broken relationship in 10 days or less" list (they should be though. Angry guy music is so waay cooler than angry chick music) . 
So once you do what all the experts tell you, (I use the term experts loosely b/c im pretty sure Cosmo mag is the unfortunate authority on this....) you are cured right? No lingering sniffles or puffy unmanageable red eyes? Side effects not limited to but including death, have been avoided? That depends entirely on the person(and day)....damn it. There is no set list or rules to follow. Follow your own...Have 158 rebounds if you want. Eat or drink 10 pints a day. If it takes you six years to get over it then fine (well, that one may need some work) Be happy is the point. 
And that neatly brings me to the next point...
So once you are happy, be it in another relationship or your 15th "experiment" (and have exhausted your supply of both pints and angry music), when is it too soon to talk? When is it time to stop feeling bad and apologizing? NOW! You can't control peoples thoughts or what they post on facebook. IM SORRY this hurts you, more sorry then I can say. I have cried all the tears I have and am tired of looking like Rudolf before christmas! That is not my Halloween costume dammit! The one thing you want from me is the one thing I cannot give. You already have a piece of me that no one else ever will! Is that not enough for now? Here, have some pints....i hear they work wonders. Im tired. Tired of being the bad guy (also not my Halloween costume), tired of tip toeing (have you seen these size 11's? its like a tiger wearing roller-skates to catch prey...doesn't work) around and watching what I say, and how I say and, when I say. I have to be done. Im done.