Random thoughts and fun quotes...

So what is it about seeing someone in person that makes them instantly trustworthy? I don't know about ya'll but I don't possess Sauron's all seeing eye, or Yoda's jedi powers, or even a third eye stuck somewhere interesting... so what is it about seeing that is believing?  "Oh, you part your hair the same way my grandfather did, there is no way you will kill me and harvest my kidneys for new Nikes(people still do that for Nikes, right?)". Right. See any green murder vans lately? I  told a customer that I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE today how much my rent is and where excatly i live (like down to the directions to my unmentionables). The guy that i have been talking to online for a week? Yeah, wouldn't even tell him the company I worked for much less what foot I start off walking with. What finger I use to push the button down on the pepper spray? Definitely. 

To guy from England...dude check a map...I'm so not two hours away from you. Oh, and please stop calling me honey, sweetie, baby and sugar. Also, learn to write an effin proper sentence..didn't you take lessons from Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee??? One last thing...we do not have a "connection".

"I want to be your distraction" (oh, im distracted)

"I can be your distraction, lets hang out, I'm in a hotel in oneonta" (Ooo romantic capital of the South?)

"I'm gonna dick you down" (do you talk to your mama with that mouth?)

"I hate fireworks and  beer" (we can't even be friends dude)

"I will play on the playground at night with you" (not an euphemism...i really do play on the playground after dark)

"Your HOT! Way to hot not to be texin me! xxx-xxxx" ( thanks for the compliment but how do you know I'm from Texas?)

"What if the distraction was over nine inches?" (I wouldn't touch that with a 9in pole)